Tired. Feeling, maybe undeservedly, pessimistic about the future. I am so far from getting where I want to go in life. Education. Career. Kids... Not really sure if those things are truly what I want anymore. I only feel this undercurrent of desperation to get somewhere.
Have been taking much more time to myself. Maybe being 'antisocial' but I need some calm. Some quiet. Some peace. I am not regretting letting people stay with us, but it is difficult. The expectations are difficult-- to help out. To watch the baby. To make sure no one gets hurt, or that everyone is comfortable. I feel obligated to be supportive and to be a good host. I dispise obligations.
I need to get laid. That would make me feel a little better.
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