Swelltide.

Once again, I have never intended to go so long between posts. Have just been so busy with school, which despite all of the time that I am putting in still isn't going nearly as well as I would like. It might be time for an honest conversation with myself about whether or not I am cut out for a science major-- and if it would be cost effective to keep going until I get the degree. Especially now, as the economy isn't in good enough health to guarantee that I will be able to find a job when I get done.

On the bipolar front... I still have not been taking any medication. Only recently did my loans come in, and even with the refunds, I am not sure that I have the money to keep paying what I have on the meds. Hundred  bucks a month, without insurance. I am planning a trip but to the psychiatrist to maybe find a cheaper alternative. A combination of generics, maybe. Something. One appointment though is a hundred bucks itself.   Which, I have but can't really afford to spend.

Luckily, I have been fairly even-keeled. Though, I've had more nights of not being able to sleep. Fighting with myself to manifest any kind of energy. I've been cycling every few days, riding the ups and downs. It is much easier, even without the medications, now knowing some coping mechanisms. Managing stress. Learning to take control. If only I always summon the energy, find the drive or ambition. That is the most frustrating part of bipolar for me. Being a hardworking and normally focused person; putting things off and making excuses not to do things. Not having any energy. I hate it.

A day at a time...

Anyways... I'll see that I can't post more often so long as I can keep up with school work.