Swelltide.

My orientation for school begins tomorrow. Twelve hours of being around strangers. Alone. I really am beginning to regret the decision of not making my girlfriend go with me. Though, I am not sure how that would work, as the only accepted guests are parents, apparently.

I am anxious, excited and scared. Scared to death. This is a big deal to me. I've been moaning and bitching almost my entire adult life that I'm not in school. I am making that happen. It is ironic for me that I should be so fearful. I relish change where other people fear it. I love new things.

I don't remember who said it, or when. But I either read or heard someone once say that the things we are most afraid of are the very things we should be doing. I don't like being around people that I don't know. There is no guarantee of how I will be feeling tomorrow. There are no guarantees at all. But, I feel like this is something I have to try. Even if I fail, and tomorrow is only day one.

I don't know who reads this (hi, my love) or if anyone really does. Here is some advice. The thing that scares you the most-- do it, expose yourself to it. Who cares if nothing ever comes from it? At least you can say you tried.

I am capable of so much, though my 'everything' might be different from someone else's. I am going to give it everything that I have. Period. If I fail, all I have to contend with is a few thousand dollars. No big deal. I mean that seriously. Debt can be repaid. I don't want to go through life, regretting that I never tried something that I really wanted to do.

Neither should you.