Swelltide.

A person with bipolar disorder should work a flexible and accommodating job. Today, I drove all over the state (an exaggeration, but feels true) with no time to eat lunch. Tired of fast food, eating on the go and don't really have the money for it anyway. I am irritable beyond the normal, haven't eaten anything irritation.

In many ways, I am very fortunate to have the kind of job that I do. I can take a nap when I have the time, or hit up the book store. I'm not paid for it, but I can. I don't really have anyone breathing down my neck. Nobody goes out of their way to be a jerk to me, or most of the other people that I work with. But, at the other end of it all, I don't know my schedule for one day until closing time the day before. I am not paid well for what I do. There is no room for advancement, which suits most of my co-workers just fine. A dead end job, with a few perks. Low pay but health benefits and all that.

I can't and don't want to do it anymore. I am called last minute for things on a regular basis, usually when I already have enough to do. Though it is not really a technical job, it is billed as one-- to the company's clients. And, the company-- who makes three to four times what I make to have me out on a job site. I wake up, especially during the summer months, from anywhere between two to six in the morning, and am expected to put in a full day on top of it.

I'm not eating right, when I eat at all. I am not sleeping right. I have these little stresses added to me, from day to day and by the week's end I feel completely run down. It isn't good for me, and wouldn't be good for anyone with a sleep/mood/health disorder.

I want more for myself. I wish the the population as a whole would want more for themselves, then it would all change-- if everyone demanded more from their employers then companies would be forced to comply. But, right now its an employer's market.

I am getting really tired of hearing, "Well, at least you have a job..." I should feel grateful to have a job. But I feel like I shouldn't and no one should have to deal with the kind of bullshit that employers are getting away with.