Swelltide.

In the car yesterday and my girlfriend started reading from a therapy module that I was keeping behind my visor.

Bipolar is often triggered by a time of great stress. She asked if I knew what this moment or time was for me.

We moved when I was sixteen, away from the only real friends that I had made up to that point in my life, where I attended a much more urbanized highschool. Superficial. Everything played like a bad reality television show. I ended up in an alternative school, where I took the minimum number of classes to graduate. Where I smoked a lot of pot. I was so angry at my situation, at my parents, at the dumb kids that I went to school with-- I would go days sometimes without saying anything to anyone. I spent two years like this, not talking to anyone. Hiding out, smoking too much and reading books. Sketching. Smoking pot. My friends would say that I always seemed sad.

I thought this was my moment, but after thinking about it, I'm not so sure.

I've had many moments of mania, or near mania, before this. I would go days without attending school regularly. I would scream obsenities at strangers when crossing the street. I would be a total oddball in the hallways at school. Then, it came across as a weird kind of confidence, and I or anyone else, never thought much of it. I would have weeks of eating my lunch alone, talking to no one, or not having anyone to talk to. Zoning out in front of the TV.

So, who knows really? It begs again, the question, what is bipolar and what is normal?