Swelltide.

I slept at my brother's girlfriend's house last night, and stayed up until about two in the morning studying for a chemistry test that I had today. I needed to be closer to school, get as much time in to study as I could.

Drove to school  two hours early to study in the parking lot. I fell asleep, with the window down and the overhead lights on. Woke up about fifteen minutes before my test with the car battery dead. I can't close the window, or set my alarm. My choice was either to miss the test and get a jump, or leave my car window down and unlocked.

So, I took the test. Thinking the whole time, 'what if someone breaks into my car...' Though, there isn't anything in there worth stealing other than the biology book I paid 200 dollars for. Also, thinking about all of this stuff going on with my girlfriend, and my girlfriend and me. Tired. I didn't finish the test on time. Go to Biology where I get my test back. A solid C-. Awesome. Additional homework-- go through the test and correct your answers. Due next week. Awesome. I run to my professor's office after this class to finish my test. Which I can't do, because I spend fifteen minutes on one problem that I can't solve. Awesome. Eventually, I give up on this problem and hand the damn thing in anyway. I run out to the parking lot, find my car as I left it, and call the university police for a jump. Wait twenty minutes, study some physics...

I called up the cashier's office at school. 'Hi. Where is the student loan money that I applied for a month ago and haven't seen yet?' Somehow it was sent to the address that I lived at in 2004. What?! 'I didn't apply to school here in 2004...!" How does this happen? I yelled at this cashier for about ten minutes, yell at her manager for ten minutes. 'Oh, we have nothing to do with the address on file, sir. Give it a few days and then we will put a stop payment on the check.' I lost it. For about a minute, I went completely crazy. 'Why would you sent the check to an address that I lived at eight years ago?! I can't wait a couple of more days! I wouldn't have borrowed money for school if I didn't need it! Explain to me how I am supposed to pay my bills that are due if takes two weeks to put a stop-payment on the check, for you to send a new one out! AND! Where the hell did this address that I lived at eight years ago come from?!' I then drop my phone and have to call back. Am put on hold for about ten minutes. When I talk to the woman again, we are nicer to one another, but nothing is resolved. I am screwed-- bottom line.

I crashed. Fell asleep for about four hours. I've been meaning to straighten up the house, organize some things. Not knowing if my girlfriend is even coming home tomorrow or not. Here it is, midnight, and I haven't worked on any homework or studied, and the house is only partially clean.

I now have a lab report to resubmit, a lab report due, a quiz to finish for biology. I have physics homework due this week and my first physics test coming up. How do you prioritize all of this? This and personal life stuff? How do I prioritize bills, all of the things going on with school-- which I am about ten-grand in debt for, these things going on with my girlfriend, work and have time to study. I need to study because the amount of time that I've devoted to school, which is almost every free minute I have, isn't cutting it. In the back of my head right now, no matter what I am doing, is me thinking about whatever the hell is going on with my girlfriend.

My parents dropped by. 'Is everything Okay?' I wanted to scream and throw things around, tell them to get the hell out of my house-- which I haven't paid rent on because my student loan money is probably sitting in a post office somewhere.

All of this would be comical really, if it wasn't happening to me.

It feels like the universe is conspiring against me and I really don't understand it. I am having an urge to pack up a few things and drive the country for ten years. I don't want to deal with any of this. I am afraid that I don't have the time, or the energy to handle all of it at once.