Swelltide.

Therapy today. We talked a lot about the general symptoms of bipolar that I experience. Talked about my moods, my difficulty sleeping-- falling asleep and staying asleep, my need to develop some healthy coping mechanisms.

I wasn't completely convinced that bipolar was my deal. This shouldn't surprise anyone, especially myself, as I am not completely convinced of anything anymore. I thought, maybe, I've been going through this rough patch, a period of high-stress that has culminated into something that seems like bipolar.

But, now-- I'm pretty convinced.

Seems like bipolar II. Meaning, I get all of the full-blown depression but not full mania. Lucky me. I know some people out there with type I would take issue with this-- but, I feel kind of slighted. I get the low, but not all of the high. Lucky me. None of the delusions of grandeur. None of the being so excited by small things. Apparently, I also experience mixed-states and rapid cycling.

No two people with bipolar have the same bipolar. Everyone experiences it a little differently. Which, I guess has been frustrating for someone who wants to know what to expect, and who wants to learn as much as he can about what he is living with.

Anyway, therapy went well. I feel like I've made some progress. At least, I know some things I need to focus on. I am aware of some aspects of my personality that need to change. I need to get healthier (which I've known for a while). Now, if only the medication could start working, I might get somewhere.